Blessings in Photography

My fiance says my blog is not full of Whims or Joy, so I have decided to just post a few pictures that show my actual joy living in Korea.

This is our new friend, he kept staring at us so our photographer (Yolondo Lupoe) decided we should jump in with our buddy for a quick picture. Stunning old man isn't he?

After a long day of shooting we decided to jump in a fountain for our last location. Dripping wet, cold and completely happy. I love green.
We bought our traditional clothing at a market that sells used clothing, together they cost us about 20,000 won, which is less than $20 US. Amazing and my very favorite part of picture taking. Hanboks are lovely, comfortable and so fun. We definitely were in the Korean spirit.
Life is good. I am blessed with a man of God who knows my heart. He even recognizes when I need time alone and doesn't take it personally that I would rather paint than hang out on a rainy holiday day.

God is good all the time, and although I have been finding it hard to see his exact purpose for my being here in Korea teaching english and not art, I do believe he is good and I can clearly see how blessed I am. I mean God cares about the details; on our photography day I didn't have acne or chapped lips and even my hair was in place, which of recent has been non-existent. He provided a perfect green dress for fountain pictures and hanbok's for our Korean style and all for near nothing. He provided a professional photographer who loves us enough to cut us a ridiculous deal and took her entire saturday to bless us. He blessed us with perfect picture weather and locations all within walking distance of each other.

When normality lies across the sea I like to store away these small blessings in the pockets of my mind, easily accessible for that rainy holiday.

My Job

I work 5 days a week and I don't believe I have mentioned it yet.

My job is nothing too exciting and today I have found myself counting down the minutes. All too often we finish reading a story and we have 30 minutes to go and I have few ideas on how to spend the time.

Still I have some favorite students. I'm starting to see that some of them actually do like me. And that is encouraging even though they are often pains in the you-know-what.

Yesterday I had four girls fighting in my class, which for these 8/9 year-olds consists of tattling when they speak Korean and tattling when they point at each other and make the sign for 'crazy.'

I literally screamed at one point "uhhhhhhhhhhhg! I don't care. DON'T talk to each other, DON'T look at each other, NO crazy signs, NO 'teacher teacher she korean talking, she crazy.'" While at the same time I fake sign languaged- with X arms (Japanese style) and mimicking their bad english. So frustrating.

The boys must have been loving it. I usually have trouble with the guys, but it seems they have gotten over their hatred for me and now just want to get points. They actually pay attention most the time and rarely give me attitude.

When I pulled in their regular teacher to talk to the girls, there was an eruption of noise in trying to blame each other. Poor Jessica (my co-teacher), I tried to silence the girls long enough to explain that I don't care who was first, or who said what, I just don't want it in my class-and that's all I wanted translated. I am not really sure if that made it through.

I hate it when kids gang up on each other, or are mean. It makes me sad for their hearts.

On the other hand I have two boys that I teach, Nelly and Kevin and they are probably younger, maybe American age 8, and adorable! Well Kevin is REALLY adorable (like ring-bearer adorable), but Nelly has this funny way of clapping his hands "ah-ha!" every time he understands something, which is particularly endearing. They are just such a joy. I go from classes of a rowdy 10 kids, 70% of which are dumb as bricks and then I get to teach Nelly and Kevin who's understanding is far past their grade level AND they have a sense of humor!

I give them so much candy. Shoot, the classes that I like get so much candy and actually get to have fun.

All this job makes me realize is how much better suited I am to teach Art. I am already bored of teaching english and it hasn't even been two months.

At least the money is good.

Girls Night 2

Although it was a smaller crowd with a few girls working overtime (unpaid of course, as the system is) Brittani's girls night was wonderful.

BrittOni and I bused down from Palyong, to Sangnam and just so happened to arrive at the bus stop the moment Britt-A walked out of work, which was convenient since we were not certain where this neon pink yogurt shop was that we were told of. It also helped that Brit-A just had her hair dyed blonde, which was easy for spotting.

This yogurt shop is so cute. Ridiculously expensive (4000 won for a black coffee!) but it was so cute! It has a loft lay out and fake interior shutters.

So Brit-A was in charge of this excursion and she did something wonderful; she spotted a carb-packed pie at Costco with apple center and she lost no time in making it into a girls night.

So four tiny girls, attacked this pie with out delicious yogurt treats and in no time created an 'X' of a pie.

The women who worked at the shop were all young and cute and so sweet. They didn't care that we brought in extra food, and they even made some people move from their seats so we could all sit inside....nice for us, but kinda mean to the koreans who had to move to make room for the foreigners eating pie. This is actually pretty common here; it isn't rude to make people move from their seats if there is too few of them at the table and an appropriate number of people come in.

So we gorged ourselves on pie and chatted and were satisfied.

A Surprise Treasure

Brit-O and I left early, due to our fatigue and not wanting to pay for at taxi home, and as we walked out I found a nice little treasure in the trash, a black metal spirally......candle holder? Well, I think it is originally for plants, but it has now become a nice candle holder, which I tested out last night when my lovely fiance brought me a whopper, wine and candles. I swear that boy knows my heart like no other man ever has.

Life in Changwon

Girls night

Crafting, feasting, wining, and chatting. What more can a girl ask for than a good breakfast burrito and time with sweet women sipping on soju-orange juice? Nothing other than craft time.....at least as the child of art that I am, there is nothing else I can think of.

Yes, Wonderful Womanly Wednesdays has been a hit. And it appears it is more than a themed movie night; we are actually coming up with various ideas. In fact in the upcoming week we will be going to a yogurt bar with apple pie and feasting.

I love how active people are here in Changwon. Everyone is so up

for activities and really seem eager to do anything but go to a bar, which is to regular an occasion.

I love the ladies I get to spend time with and it is such a God-send to have girl time. I mean don't get me wrong, I love Stephen, but of all I miss from back home, my girls are what I miss most. I didn't even realize I had that many girl friends, but being over here I realized the ridiculous importance of having females around. You can only make your fiance shop with you for so long.

So here is a snap shot of girls crafting extravaganza-

The Fiance

So did I mention that my man washes the dishes every time he comes over to eat? Or that he always asks where I would like to go for eating, or that he drives in the rain on his moped to visit me? Or that he spoils me rotten and lets me choose movies, even if they are chick flicks? I mean how is it that the Lord sees fit to give me such a wonderful specimen. I sometimes wonder if people meet him and are like "why is he marrying her, he is so amazing!?," because that is what I would think.

I guess what is greatest about him is how much his servanthood makes me thank the Lord for how blessed I am.

The Lord's plan for my life has been so different from my own. I mean, had you told me in high school that I would end up with Stephen Howard I would have laughed into a dizzy. But God's plan has been so much better than my own. If it were up to my plan I would have married the wrong man, gotten a job in America or over seas and been lonely. But how wonderful that the Lord wanted me groomed before dating the man that would accept all my strangeness and love me more for it. How great that we are able to avoid so many relationship problems because we have already made them with someone else (at least kinda great haha). How ridiculous that we have yet to kiss, and yet, it's so divinely amazing. Less than four months now.

The Infest

There is a giant cockroach that lives underneath my bed. Apparently the ant poison is not enough for this big boy. Twice he has brazenly crawled up my wall in the light of my room only for me to attempt to kill him and him jump to the floor and crawl beneath my bed at lightning speed. In my defense, the first time I was unprepared and all I did was hit him with a broom that I knew was not hard enough to crack his exoskeleton; and the second time, well I went for a shoe and had it in hand ready to strike when my dear biologist fiance stopped me saying I'd leave a stain on my wall paper so he got toilet paper allowing for the roach to crawl higher and sense his coming to get him.

Alas dear Leonard (like the old man in 'Community') till next time nasty foe.

Lessons of the Week

Shopping and Food

I feel like Stephen and I do a good bit of shopping. But the vast majority of it is finding out what we can potentially get. Today we found out there are used clothing spots in 'the market,' as well as lots of seamstresses to make curtains and top sheets (since they don't sell those in stores), there is salsa at lotte mart as well as tortillas, there are 5 pound bags of cheese (or at least close enough to cheese product) for ten dollars at the local restaurant store (at which you can also find cheese sticks and chicken nuggets- however finding an oven is more difficult), there is a sweet indian food place called maya which has lamb curry, and there are 35 cent (350 won) and 500 won ice creams under my work. I do not know how children here are not all obese. I would be lapping up that ice cream with every spare quarter mom gave and a few found pennies from the street.

All this to say, I am starting to feel more comfortable with shopping. And no, that is not a bad thing, this just means I have enough food to start cooking- however much I loath washing dishes. So mad that there are dishes in my sink right now and I only have 2 spoons, one of which is wooden, and both of which are dirty. I think I might have to invest in more utensils rather than was the dishes in a too small sink with no drying space.

So yes, I have salsa, tortillas and cheese. Great success Korea.

And it is about time I found things I can cook, because eating out all the time is so pricey!

Guilt

We walk out of eating at Maya's and there is a man on the street. His eyes look foggy and he is very tiny, maybe only 4 feet tall and hunched over and he is waddling around the street begging for money. He however did have on newish looking pants. But I felt so bad for him. I felt like I should give him something. Everyone kept avoiding his gaze and ignoring him knowing with enough he would just walk by. But that man is a man. He is human. Yes he was begging, and yes he may be trying to scam us to buy his next pack of cigs or a beer, but why must I pretend he doesn't exist and continue in my conversation of where to buy cheap t-shirts that are really hip? It's really quite disgusting. And being told "Just ignore him, he'll go away." sounded so logical and correct; but why does my heart still hurt. I mean none of the Koreans who passed this man took notice of him, he seemed to be cramping their style, an ugly obstacle in their walk along the sidewalk in their bedazzled jeans and polo's with the too big logos and upturned collars. I mean what do I do in that situation? Jesus would have spoken to his heart, touched his life, healed his back or simply shown love. How do I do that without knowing Korean and without giving money? Do I run in the convenience store and buy a snack for him? And why is it that moments later as we passed another man sleeping on cardboard I automatically judged him as an alcoholic and lazy because he was younger and not as ugly as the first elderly man.

I read about my friend Jessica working as a nurse in Bolivia and her seeing death before her eyes, and watching people live in the most dire conditions and have to deal with crime and unbelievable emotional strains with family deaths and stress of life on mountain cliffs, and it feels so foreign. I feel guilty for not fully comprehending, for buying a sweater at the store for 10 dollars and for joyriding on the scooter, worrying that I will crash, or spending 28,000 won on dinner and walking past a beggar, but what has happened to my heart? Am I responsible for this man that Korea has brushed off? Am I to assume that he made his choices and that is the life he chose, that he lost his pride long ago and is a worthless being more akin to the scavenging stray cats than to the good working class citizens of Korea? That is how I feel we treat him.

I am so ill equipped. So worthless as a mouthpiece of Christ's love to that man. God is good. God is Love. God is Just.

God is Just.

I have to trust, that even in my lack of goodwill to that man, the Lord is sustaining his life and loving him more than I ever could show or speak even in perfect Korean. The sins of the world that stain that man, those of him and society against him, they do not change the perfect character of God. Our free will to act in ways contrary of the will of God does not change his goodness. Because the sins of the world continue to stain itself does not change that God is the definition of justice. Some say God couldn't be good because look at the pain in the world, but we are created to be in a relationship with a creator whose heart breaks again and again at his children's choices to disobey and the affects that has had and is having on the rest of his creation, and as we begin to allow Christ's love to transform us, should not our hearts start to break as well? Should not the Jesus inside us start to be let out and start to heal and touch others, breaking this cycle of freewill in the wrong direction?

I clearly have the freewill to ignore, but I want the freewill to love as Jesus did.

A Dream

They made such orderly graves as they fell.

Pristine black and white, without life; without smell.

My mind lied, the images reversed

resurrection not martyred. Preserved.

I snatched up the child her warmth reassuring

with her, I ran into the forest searching

finding only anxiety amidst the crowds

I crumpled, rocking into a tiny mound.

I awoke. Without the warmth. No child found.

It all started with a crash.

Plane after plane felled into the sea

rummaging through wave beaten trash

a small life. Chubby hands, holding history.

Perhaps this poem makes no sense to anyone but myself, but every time I reread it I can see it again. Stumbling upon a beach with debris washing ashore and finding a small girl in the water holding a picture of young people awaiting their untimely fall into dark holes before them; a holocaustal image and still, their figures were lively and hopeful. Almost in rebellion, jumping off the image in resistance against the moments after the photo was inevitably taken. They won, I believed them raised rather than fallen. And as the people around me ran off into the forest I swept the child into my arms and ran into the hills only to fall to the ground with the girl in a feeble attempt to comfort or protect or escape, and then, then I awoke.

My Off Centered University

So I went to the Registrars office to hopefully get my diploma so I can appease Immigration in Korea and fly off to a new exciting adventure. Well little did I know there is adventure in the Registrars office.

Yes, to my dismay I reached the office only to find out that the diploma printer was "broken" and someone was supposed to come that afternoon, or hopefully that week.

Great.

I already spent 30 dollars to send my visa info to Korea, now they want a scan or copy of my diploma and I can't even get it in hand.

Fabulous.

Perfect.

Sarcasm.

Reality= tears?

So I kindly say that this is crazy and I could potentially lose my job and, although sympathetic, the girl I spoke to said there was nothing she could do.

I walk out, about to cry, to my car and I try and call my mother only to reach my brother instead.... and no offense to John, but he is not who I wanted to talk to. So I sit in my car and contemplate bursting into tears, but decide first to conference with Jesus. So I sit and ask him what can I do? I trust He will take care of things but maybe there is something I can do today.... what about....what if I go in and at least ask for a letter on Radford letterhead saying I graduated (since really that was Korea's problem with my State Apostilled letter from the Registrar- not on letterhead so not official looking enough). I gave up and admitted it was worth a shot and it was completely up to Him to take care of this whole situation, lose the job or not.

I calmly and full of trust in the sovereignty of the Lord, walked back into Heth Hall to ask once again for another letter. I explain to a different lady my situation and she goes to the Registrars office to ask about my "situation" and returns to let me know the Registrar (who I have already talked to and left many messages for, e-mail and phone) would soon be able to come talk to me and "just wait a few mintues".

I sit down and wait and am soon joined by an older music grad student who I find out has just been doing the run around all morning. (I am very familiar with this game- tsk, Radford)

He told me of how he was in a class and went to pay for the class only to find the bursars office doesn't take credit cards-unless you pay online..... so by the time he paid and went to class the online system had kicked him out already (for not paying...) and he had to run back to the registrars office to get put back on the list. I love college.

After some lovely conversation about my situation and teaching overseas, Registrar Andrea comes out to talk to me, I stand up and say "Hi, I'm Hannah Dorrell" she just says "Oh, hold on one minute" and turns around again leaving me to watch her re-enter her office to write my letter. Or so I thought.

She re-appeared with what appeared to be a diploma with MY NAME ON IT!

Stoked.

So she says "Here is the deal, the printer has been printing the diplomas off center."

Off center? OFF CENTER!! Who gives a flying flip.

"So I can give you this copy and then we can send you a perfect one to your house?" she continued.

YES!

So if I hadn't prayed and gone back in, I would be in a tizzy waiting for my diploma; all because it was printed.... off center.

It's funny, I realize now that the Lord broke that printer for me. I never would have had the level of peace that I received after completely giving up and giving over the security of my job. I got to experience God's faithfulness, yet again, in a trial that turned out right in the end, not because he owed it to me for having faith in his sovereignty, but because he loves me and wanted to make it clear to me that he was in control the whole time and just wanted to make that clear.

Now the only question left is; can you even tell that it is off center?

I guess it's the same with my life, only the Lord knew I needed to be re-centered in those moments of uncertainty.

Goodness I love that guy. :)