I'm Popular and I have the Pepero to Prove it.

I know it was last week, but well I got lots of some Pepero. Boxes and sticks and one large 8 pack of boxes. My personal favorite was a box from a student who attached a note "This is Pepero. I love you." Yesssssss.

Of course all of them were from girls except one from one of my youngest boys. He is in the phonics class and I must say if I was 7 years old I would go for this lil guy. He walked in shyly and handed me the Pepero and kinda ran out after a quick 'Here Teacher'.

Apparently he had asked his classroom teacher to give it to me and she refused and told him to hand it to me himself. It was adorable.

Aside from the Pepero, I feel like a lot of my older classes are understanding me more. We can almost have real conversations and I feel like I am actually getting to know them, especially a class of middle school girls.

Off to Seoul again in the early early morning (4 a.m.), lots of errands and fun to be had.

Too bad the American embassy is closed on the weekend or Stephen and I would actually be able to get paper-married. Stupid embassy. What foreigner, anywhere but Seoul, can make an appointment not on a holiday from 8:15 to 5?! I mean we have a 5 hour bus ride both ways....I guess this is one more thing I will have to trust God to take care of.

Pepero Day Eve

(this is not my picture, it's from google)

So I have been bribing my students.

They give me Pepero sticks and I will give them points and stamps.

That is me getting Pocky sticks (for those of you not familiar with the Korean brand) and giving stamps which cost me nothing.

I am pretty sure I am loving this holiday. It happens on 11/11 and is kinda like the Korean Valentines day only everyone gives Pocky sticks to each other (get it? 11/11)

I got my first one from my students Diena, or Aphrodite as she wants to be called now, and it was not quite what I expected. Rather than a pretzel, it was more a breadstick dipped in chocolate with sprinkles. Still I love chocolate so I am not complaining.

I really hope I get a lot of Pepero love tomorrow; it would definitely improve my feelings for Korea.

Oh and as an update on my last blog, today was pretty enjoyable, my bad classes weren't bad and my good class was still pretty good. I have more energy and the Lord is changing my attitude of disdain for my students.....ok maybe I didn't quite reach disdain, but I have enjoyed classes today which is a change from Monday and Tuesday. Yay!

P.S. Koreans say that Praying Mantises bite. Has anyone ever experience that?

The Plight of Homesickness

Homesickness has struck.

It started sometime last week. I thought I was just having a bad week, but it was everything. EVERY small thing was making me POed.

It just doesn't make since that almost everyone experiences this same kind of feeling, like clockwork, at three months in the country. I mean are we really all so programmed that our minds and bodies have a shut-off programmed in? I mean how bizarre is that?!

All weekend unless I was alone I was a little tense.

It ceased a little when my brother John visited and we had a really good time. Maybe it is because he is family and although we are rarely together, he is still so familiar.

We got amazing Italian food thanks to our friend Dominique telling us about it. It had the classy black and white theme going on, complete with TCM stars lining the walls. John and I had a long discussion about who one actress was (Grace Kelly) and in retort he pulled up a current picture of her saying,"Clearly that is not the same person." Well John how about this picture?

It was good to get to know John's new girlfriend some too. She is quite excellent at administering medicine to kittens, I can tell you that much.

Yes, John gave me a kitten for my birthday (a little late but that's ok), which is super exciting....however after she peed on two of my comforters that I laid down to sleep on and my sweatshirt the next day, I have to admit, I was not enthused. It also doesn't help that she is in need of medicine twice a day to treat a skin issue. I am kinda questioning whether I am ready for a cat yet.......still she is cute half the time and she has not had incident since that first day. Pretty much we are still getting used to each other.

So yeah, I got very little rest this weekend, somehow we manage to always be packed with weekend activities. I mean I cleaned my place, then went hiking, to coffee, then dinner with the bro, a movie and off to see our favorite Filipino band Fused, and then to church the next morning, out for lunch and to a huge Korean dinner with Stephen's Korean skater friends.

I must admit I was not in the best mood. I was exhausted and not feeling friendly. I kept praying for an attitude change and at the same time lacked energy, enthusiasm or a desire to really do anything.

(Fused the Sweetest Band in Changwon)

So all day Stephen was looking at me with this face of "tell me what's wrong so I can fix it" and kept asking "Are you ok?" Which I always hate because, yes my person is fine, my body is healthy, I have work, a fiance and loving family and friends, so of course I am 'ok'. However there were things bothering me. Minute things like getting on the wrong bus and having to walk 15 minutes home (however you must take notice that I at least knew where I was), or not knowing enough Korean, or certain students being really rude, or the cat peeing on everything and losing part of my gift for my sister's Christmas present, sleeping too late, or buying the wrong ramen and having no energy to be happy with students who hate English, and most aggravating.......hairs changing colors.

There is nothing like a white/black hair in a place it didn't used to be to make a girl upset (thank you Susanna for understanding). There is just something about feeling like you are not able to control anything that is so awful sometimes, particularly involving your body. We work so hard to come to grips with our body, to appreciate our bodies as the creation of God that they are and then he changes things up and asks, "Can you love what I gave you now and be thankful?"

Even worse was Sunday at church one of our members, I think her name is Sun Min, spoke about how she was excited to share at a conference for handicapped people. See she is in a wheel chair and has limited control of her body and still she seeps with the Lord's grace and joy. She talked of her difficulties and struggles and her success in speaking with others. She lives on her own with another handicapped friend and is fighting for more rights in Korea. She is also and accomplished artist and paints some really wonderful paintings of flowers with her mouth. Her style is lively, a little impressionistic and well composited not to mention her color schemes are so happy.

She is so thankful for her life and I am complaining about having to clean up some pee and some hairs changing color?!?! I sicken myself sometimes.

I think of Job and Sun Min and I realize how unthankful I am. I mean I have a boyfriend who brings me whoppers when I'm having bad days and flowers and toys for my new kitten. I am fortunate and loved, by God and by a wonderful man.

Still the Lord understands my frustrations and listens to my pleas for comfort. He cares for me and slowly brings me back from my self centered pity party. This morning was rough with the kitten waking my up at 5:30 and not shutting up, but when the Lord woke me at 8:30......it was a new day.

More Answers!

Yesterday was a little frustrating.

I feel like that is how many of these stories start.

Anyway, it started off fine, I had my first class demolished so I didn't have to come in till later, Then I taught my first class and went into my next classroom only to find out that class was divided into other classes and I no longer had a class at that time. So I took my break and went to my next class to find out my entire schedule is now changed and no one felt like letting me in on it. So I finally figure out what class I am in and find out my 'favorite' student is in there. Yippee.

However I said a lil' prayer for some form of relief and sure enough, in this new class, with kids that are better students and more at his actual intelligence level, student A actually participated and I think we may be able to have class now.......I hope I am not speaking too soon.

So pretty much once I re-wrote my schedule (which looked like some sort of mysterious map after all the arrows were drawn on it showing where classes moved and boxes ex-ed out or written over) it all seemed to work out and sure enough I am back down to 26 classes.

So pretty much lately I have been in stressing situations and although I consciously am aware of how bad it is, my internal self is rather calm. I am actually trusting the Lord to get me through it, although sometimes I still want miracles like making kids disappear or be good or be quiet.

I don't want to be a bad teacher, I don't want to hit kids or yell or get upset. I want to be joy and teach while letting them have fun. This is what I have been thinking about lately:

"Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit" Galations 5:25

And what are the fruits of the spirit?

Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self Control.

It's like a sock in the face, because that is what I struggle with all day.

Loving kids.

Having a joyous attitude while working.

Relying on the Lord's peace.

Having patience.

Being kind.

Doing more good than expected.

Being dependable for my coworkers and boss.

Being sensitive to obnoxious children and not giving bloody noses all over the place for disrespect and bad behavior(don't worry this urge only comes about once or twice a day).

But at the same time, it is exciting. I am actually finding the Lord providing Love for the unlovable, Joy in trials, Peace in turmoil, Patience with it all, Kindness for the unkind, and a desire to do more good, and even occasionally more sensitivity to annoying kids. And all of that helps for the Self control I have to practice :)