Squirrel the Dog

Before I start this story, I must let you know that it is the co-result of my boyfriend and I as we sat through his brothers High School graduation in a non-air-conditioned building (Burrus Hall for those who are familiar with Virginia Tech). We alternated every sentence or so which will be shown with italics for Stephen. So without further adieu....

Once upon a time there was a squirrel named Dog. His name quite confused his woodland critter friends. Woody the woodchuck was so befuddled that when he heard from Squirrella the Squirrel that "Dog" was coming for a visit, he upchucked a large chunk of wood from fear of a teethy barking minion. Squirrella, apalled by Woody's behavior exclaimed in disgust, "No, you coardly woodchuck! Dog the squirrel."

"Oh," He responded a bit ashamed, "Why ever would a mother squirrel name her squirllet 'Dog,' such a ferocious animal." and he gave a little shiver just thinking about it. And that's when Dog arrived and Woody knew exactly why his mother had named him after such a ferocious beast. His ears were floppy and so was his tongue. It Hung stupidly from his mouth, but not in an entirely un-cute way, more in a puppy-like fashion. His puppy-like demeanor explained why Squirrella was so entirely smitten with him.

To the passer-by his puppy face made him look a bit like a Ruhtah (the term for socially inept Squirrels), He in fact was not and Squirrel was a little stumped for words. Though he might have looked like a Ruhtah, Dog was quite the adept acorn acquirer which made him all the more attractive to Squirrella. Even more endearing was the way his ears and tongue flopped around as he slipped with ease up and down trees, twirling round limbs and oh, how he scurried! But now was the time; Squirrella had put Dog on an unachievable pedestal for far too long- he HAD to be hers. So she opened to squeak and said, "Aye Dog, I like your nuts....." then blushing at her word vomit she continued to explain saying, "No, no! I didn't mean it like that! oh I've Ruined things. I should go."

But chuckling at Squirrella's Blushing fur Dog replied, "No, Don't I picked out two expecially large acorns just for you. I know acorns are your favorite flavor nut. Would you like to go for a scurry?"

Delighted at the invitation, Squirella graciously accepted and they scurried the day away until they fell from exhaustion. As they lay laughing at their fun filled day Dog noticed something he hadn't before....Squirrella was painfully unattractive. He waited until she fell asleep and left to never return. Dog lived happily ever after.

Unfortunately, Stephen took the ending of the ceremony to end the story in a most sad way, but I like to think it is closer to reality than many squirrel stories.