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Saturday, June 12, 2010

Sputtering Words



My words, once, all a sputter

twirled and skipped into your ear

finding no rest they started to mutter

of all my unhinging fear.

so nervous was I, made to stutter.

things should not have felt so queer.


you said I'll make a good mother

but never will you see it dear

Although your voice, smooth as butter

my life was changing, shifting gear

"I love you" never did I utter.

surprised it ended, with more than one tear


On Gold finch wings my heart a flutter

my God did find me and together we're

in love unending, safe and pure; what're

we to do but dance, in a joy so severe.



This is a poem I wrote a good while back in the process of getting over someone and the realization of my dependence on the wrong thing. What's interesting is the insecurity and unease I felt with my ex doesn't exists with my current boy. It took being with someone who knows me and likes me regardless of the spit that comes from my mouth to see.....

I know there is some charm and fun in being nervous with someone you are starting to love, but it's premature, it's only the beginning the more charming is the comfort in knowing you're accepted.

It is like a great man of God and L'Abri once said

" The assurance of forgiveness and acceptance helps us to forget how we look to ourself and to others and we start to rest in God's love......Guilt disappears in forgiveness and shame disappears when I, in the depth of my being, start to understand that I am accepted."

-Henrik

So thanks to a young man in my life, I am able to relate this truth of God in the reality of relationships I live in. I like resting in love. How much greater to rest in Love than to enjoy charmed nervousness.


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