My Mission Field

I have been super negative about work. I complain whenever I get the chance and in comparison to other jobs, my job really isn't so bad. Still I have plenty to complain about, mostly miscommunication with my boss and feeling like I never am doing anything correctly.

So at church this week Pastor Jimmy spoke on 'who controls your thinking' and how we are not responsible for many of our thoughts, because some come from God, other's from media, and others from the deceiver, but we are responsible for what we dwell on and continue to entertain in our heads. So then he continued to ask " Are you grateful for what you have been given?" and I don't quite remember how it worked in, but it made sense.

I am not grateful.

And so....I more easily entertain negative thoughts because that is what I dwell on. It is so easy to just focus on my boss giving me more and more work to do and being behind on commenting on students folders or listening assignments , or not having the appropriate lessons for some of my classes.........see what I'm saying?

BUT, that keeps me from seeing what is good in my life. The blessings I have everyday. Increased patience, a sincere enjoyment for many of my classes, and my students growing to understand me and how things are to work.

I shared with my church in our weekly sharing time (of prayer requests, things that stuck out in the sermon, praises, etc.) how I have been so negative and ungrateful. It has been especially apparent in how much my other friends enjoy their jobs or at least look at it as an opportunity to love their students and be a light in their lives rather than an energy suck. I realized I have been a bad teacher; half hearted, unenthusiastic and easily angered-well not externally, but internally. I am looking at my job in the wrong way.

My job is my Mission.

Jesus placed me here to be with these kids for the majority of my time here. 5 days a week, 8 hours a day. THAT IS A LOT. So why am I acting like the only time I have to 'minister' is outside of that time?

Monday, I started my day off late. I did not wake till 11 and I got up, went to the store, grabbed veggies and cooked them for my meals for the day (I feel God wants me to do a Daniel fast, not sure the answer as to why yet....) and I didn't get a quiet time in. However on the way to work I was flipping through some verses and came across this....

Matthew 5:16

"In the same way let your light shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven. "

That's what I want, to be a light. To be joyful and an encouragement to others. Not a Debby downer, but someone that makes you realize the blessings in life and be grateful to God for them.

Monday was great. Every class the Lord brought to my attention that I am blessed to be in these kids lives and have the opportunity to love them. Later in the day my friend Jessi texted me saying she hoped my day felt extra blessed by God and that she had been praying for me that it would. It was a really good day. God is yet again teaching me how to be a servant more effectively, sincerely and joyfully.

Anyway, those are just a few of my thoughts, I know I have been bad at writing lately, it has something to do with being busy and blessed.